One less star in the sky
by AlwaysPadfoot
Summary: This is the hardest letter he'd ever had to write.


**One less star in the sky**

**AlwaysPadfoot**

* * *

Marlene,

You know from the moment you moved into the house across the street from me, back when we were young and naive, I knew you'd cause trouble.

I don't know if you remember and I hate to admit it, but you were the source of my pranking power. Ever since that welcome party your parents held, where you had that fantastic idea of flooding the bathroom to see if we could make a pool and we flooded the entire upper floor. We were only five and both of our parents' went absolutely crazy, but for some reason they were stupid enough to still let us play with each other.

And thus bloomed a wonderful friendship, one which consisted of Quidditch and fun and pranking other kids at those Pureblood do's we were dragged to by our parents.

Let's be honest I became brains and you were the risk taker. You were the one that scaled our greenhouse to get our quaffle back after I figured out the safest route. You suck into your older brothers to steal a snitch for us whilst I distracted him. You were unstoppable.

Do you remember that time you didn't want to go home after spending a week at my house whilst your parents were on that trip? So we hid up in the attic in the den we made and they didn't find us for five hours. Mum told me later - when I was older - that they knew where we were, but decided to stay downstairs and drink in the library. We thought we were so clever when we did that, everything was so innocent back then. We thought we were being clever, but really our parents were having a laugh and drink at our expense.

You woke me up that morning the Hogwarts letters came, I believe you scaled a drainpipe and squeezed in through the window in my bathroom.

I'm not going to lie you terrified me, I was sure someone was trying to rob us, but then you burst into my room with your Hogwarts letter clutched between your fingers like Christmas had come early. Then you let our owl, Perry, in and he dropped the whole days post on my face.

I'm sure you remember making that promise: that we'd always stay friends no matter what house we were sorted into and no matter who we met. I'm ashamed to say that I didn't hold up my end of our promise very well in the first year; I'm blaming that on Sirius Black, mostly. We didn't talk much that year, and I feel truly disappointed that in that our friendship took the blow that it did. I know you noticed. I know that I upset you and even though you forgave me numerous times after that, I'm not entirely sure I forgave myself for being such an arse in first year.

Quidditch saved our friendship in the end. That, and the holiday that our families went on together before second year.

Oh Godric, that Holiday was a disaster wasn't it? We didn't speak to each other for days until that morning I woke up in the middle of the pool in a bright pink, rubber ring. I still have no fucking clue how you did that by the way, but I still stand by throwing you into the pool after that.

So then second year rolled in and me and you snapped up those chaser positions and blew away the competition. Do you remember Howard saying he'd never seen Chasers work together like we did? We were brilliant, we were so perfect and Gryffindor won over and over and over again. Those three to four training sessions a week saved our friendship.

We starting betting who was going to get into more trouble with Howard at practice and then staying behind later to mess around in the changing room like we were five again.

It wasn't until fifth year that the Gryffindor boys and girls realised it was appropriate to actually spend time with each other. Remember, we found it weird to act like we would with just us around with everyone else? We grew out of that quickly in the end.

Then came the summer we agreed to never mention again. I figured I could bring this up, I don't know. You'd been dating that Hufflepuff dick and I'd been rejected by Lily a gazillion times. My parents went away on a holiday alone and you literally camped in my house. We had that fling and we literally told no one. Then Sirius arrived after running away from his parents and you went back home like nothing had ever happened. That could have been the end of us, but no. I supposed we knew it wasn't. I don't know...

... I'm going to stop.

You know when we finished Hogwarts and Sirius, you and I were in Auror Training? Well, that was when I finally realised the there was something going on between you and Sirius. He probably never told you, but I went all big brother on him. I mean from the day I met you, you were like my sister and just like the the dicks you _may or may not_ have dated in the past, I didn't want to treat Sirius Black any different, even though he was my best friend. As expected, he laughed his head off and took none of it seriously, but I didn't need to tell you that. You could have guessed.

I noticed after a while your reckless streak came back and it honestly terrified me. Fighting Voldemort wasn't like pranks, but you didn't see that. Marlene, you went off the chart risky and I spent a hell of a lot of time thinking: was I going to get a call saying you were dead?

Sirius was scared out of his wits.

He loved you. Both of you thought you were just having sex and keeping each other company, but for gods sake I know love when I see it. He was terrified you were going to get into trouble. Just like when he was in St Mungos after that fight in Diagon Alley with the Death Eaters, you never left his side. You practically slept at his bedside for two weeks.

If that's not love then I don't know what is, because that's what I have with Lily.

Besides how long were you planning to leave it before you told him you were pregnant? I saw you avoiding all the alcohol, standing with always a full glass in your hand, but never taking a sip.

Then we had to go into hiding and I couldn't protect you or Sirius anymore.

We were only in hiding three weeks, Marlene, three weeks and you ended up dead. I didn't get to say goodbye, you and Sirius never knew that you loved each other, you only met your godson once. I needed you as my friend Marlene, to help me fix stuff when I fucked up with Lily, but mainly because you were my sister Marls. You were my sister and you were twenty-one. You were twenty-one, twenty-one and in love and pregnant. There was more life growing in you and that bastard took it away.

Sirius is inconsolable and I swear if it's the last thing I do I will kill Voldemort for what he did to everyone I care about. I don't know how.

Marls, you were family.

You still are family.

I would be lying if I said that the news of your murder hasn't completely and utterly wiped me out. Not a second so far has gone by without me remembering something about you. The world is truly a darker place now that there's one less star in the sky.

Marls, you were too young, too beautiful, too honourable, to have suffered the fate you did.

When I get up there, there's going to be some serious Potter love coming your way. I'm never going forget my first best friend, Marlene, never. You made me what I am and I love you sis.

I'm sorry I couldn't save you, I'm so sorry.

Love,

James.


End file.
